Insomnia

I can't sleep.  Partially because Scott is sick and has been snoring all night.  But mostly because I have a lot on my mind today.

I used to feel this way when I was teaching- particularly on the weekends.  I'd find myself waking up at about 5 am, feeling totally wired by the to-do list, and being unable to ignore it for a couple more precious hours of sleep, despite total exhaustion.

These days, though, sleep hasn't eluded me so much.  In fact, quite the opposite has been true.  I've been sleeping a lot more, but still feeling tired.  (Isn't that a sign of depression?)  But today, 5 am seems to be my wake-up time.

Yesterday was a pretty big day.  On the way to the gym yesterday morning, I was in a car accident.  The car in front of me merging onto the Central Expressway stopped short at the end of the entrance ramp.  I stopped.  They went.  I looked over my shoulder to merge and started to accelerate, only to turn around and find they had stopped again.  I slammed on my brakes, but it was too late.  Their car didn't get too much damage, but I'm pretty sure my little 1992 Honda Accord will be totaled.  I mean, it's only worth $2,000 at most, and given the fact that the radiator started leaking, the entire hood will have to be replaced, the headlight was smashed, and so on, I'm sort of doubting that we'll come anywhere close to it being worth repairing.

I was planning on driving that car until it wouldn't drive any more.  I guess we're at that point.

After dealing with all of that,  I had my final in-person interview for a job with Teach for America.  I suited it up and drove up to San Francisco (in Scott's car.)  I think it went ok, but it's so hard to tell with these things.  I think that given that I was already feeling bad about my car, in retrospect I'm thinking more negatively about the interview than I would be otherwise.  I should hear back from them by the end of next week (which feels like about forever right now.)

In the mean time, I'm looking for other options.  The job search landscape is such a wasteland.  I don't want to have anything to do with teaching or schools, which is pretty unfortunate because those are my most recent jobs.  I'm trying to think of what I'd like to do that might actually be a fulfilling job for me, and with the exception of Teach for America, I'm drawing a blank.  There are plenty of secretarial jobs I could do, but I don't know if I could stand it.  I suppose at this point I can't really afford to be picky.  Maybe I just need to find something to do while I'm figuring out what I want to do.  Because I'm going to be needing a new car sometime soon.